The Riddle Existence Is
tragically beautiful
The riddle of life
Sometimes I think about how some things would’ve been totally different had I took the other or different decision.
Trail Of Thoughts- 41
What if I did continue with the other school after 20th and not chose Kv ultimately suffering whole other battles there? I wouldn’t have met and unmet the many lovely people I now know and love so deeply.
What if I chose the other CA academy? I wouldn’t have met my favourite group of people I now cherish with all my heart.
What if I never decided to write two groups of cma at once? I wouldn’t meet the amazing group of rankers I now love to talk with every day.
What if I didn’t forget to apply for registration of ITT course and registered sooner than I actually did? I wouldn’t meet my dear friend.
What if I joined the other firm for my articleship? I wouldn’t have known there are many people whom I would recognize from my previous life, if there is one. I wouldn’t have had the thought of being ‘born late’ as a curse could be a thing. I wouldn’t have known there are many who are so similar yet so different from me, just right.
But it also means I would have met new people I could call mine, new favourite people I could cherish, and new people to be obsessed about.
The thought of a possibility of a completely different life because of a mere decision snowballing into a lifestyle is really fascinating to me.
Maybe this is why ‘The Midnight Library’ is my favourite book.
What if I never initiated that conversation with someone about a show?
What if I never asked for her hotspot on the first day I sat behind her?
What if I didn’t get sick for 2 weeks and continued to be in the same friend group I started off with?
What if I never laughed at her insta bio being ‘deprived’?
What if I never followed her out of the class that one afternoon?
What if I never hugged her that morning?
What if I never befriended that one new-comer on my first day at a new school?
What if I-
The idea of parallel universes and the possibility of its existence can solely be the trigger to my existential crisis.
I do sometimes get the urge to want to have a peak at the other life I could be living, like right now.
I miss the people I never met,
I miss the memories I never had,
I miss the experiences I never experiences,
I miss the emotions I never felt,
I miss the me I never was or never will be,
I miss the life I never lived.
It might just be foolish to be sad about something so imaginative but what if it wasn’t sadness coming out of misery but of curiosity and boredom? (Now that sounds like I get sad when I’m bored but here me out)
It’s those moments when you think “in another life, maybe I will”, but you know damn well there can be no other life other than the one you’re living right now. There can never be another one if you can’t even live in the one you’re in.
It’s not clocking to you, is it?
Just the idea of things greater than we can imagine, farther from our imagination, but at the same time more possible than impossible gets my interest piqued. (do recommend me books with theme like this.)
You know, like they say, “time travel once accessible in future means it has always been accessible. Just a matter of when we get to witness it.”
And now comes the question of, ‘when’ would you travel to with a time travelling machine?
My answer would be: to somewhen i did not exist or do not exist anymore.
I don’t want to spoil my life for myself guys.
But serious question though, when would you go?
And about the parallel universe, which lifestyle do you least expect to be in existence?
Your homework for today is existential crisis and zoning out in the middle of the day with a sprinkle of day-dreaming.
Sometimes the question of ‘what if’ goes all the way back to my parents;
What if they never met and never had me?
And what if by a mistake of sorts, i land in that universe. And since i was not there in the first place, the balance is restored by some random squirrel being thrown in my universe. And now im stuck in a place i never belonged.
A place that doesn’t know my name,
A place where im a mistake,
A place where i have no one to call mine,
And a place where no one calls me, at all.
That would be a fun horror-Sci-Fi to write.
Yep, that’s it.
In conclusion,
i love the life here, more or less.
Im learning to love life and live a better life than what i had in mind 5 years ago.
Thank you for reading till the end,
I love you.
Yours lovingly,
Rini.
A tragically employed teen.
TDD: Ten Day Diary
I GOT LANEIGE LIP SERUM BALM THINGY OHMYGODD (ITS SO EXPENSIVE)
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Yeeheeeeee i want more money.
Ok bye cuties <3333333333
Iloveyou
HAVEAGREATAUGUSTAHEAD!!